Under the Influence

Tracey and I were talking about our two favorite spin instructors and let’s face it to have two inspirational trainers in one gym is a little like having a stacked lineup in baseball. Since this is KSC it would be easy to talk about how easy Kristen is on the eyes but it’s so not about that even though she is beauteous and has a remarkable physiology. She’s a mom who deeply loves her offspring and although I cannot attest firsthand a great friend too. I won’t comment about the other aspects of her life, but you just know she gives her heart and soul to those parts of her life as well.  And with that foundation we wind up with the personality we all clamor to ride with and that is why we all like to ‘sweat’ with her. 

Nancy Kaplan’s words resonate with me even more deeply this morning because although we are not fighting for our lives or in a foxhole, taking our exercise regimen as seriously as we do brings a kinship that we don’t necessarily experience unless it is our BFF or significant other. Casual acquaintances pale by comparison as we take our bodies and our internal resolve to levels some friendships cannot measure up to. And when someone is facing hardship in our ‘community’ the prayer if you will is a laser that helps heal the wounds of life. Sound too ‘hokey’ like a Hall & Oates song? Maybe, but so what. 

In yesterday’s post I was lamenting selfishly about the Evil Woman’s choreography because to me she only plays Billboard’s Top 40 and that’s okay up to a point but today she was a woman under the influence. Did you notice that her play list did not resemble anything like what she usually plates for us? I noticed and even though she didn’t play the low energy aforementioned Hall & Oates it was unique almost as singular as she is. I love when she is playful like she was today and she made me smile so broadly explaining that this is her class and she can do what she wants to. This I know but today she was a woman under the influence of my pen and I will always remember this day. Thank you Kristen you are indeed a sweet lady.  (Can I say lady?)  

Special Edition KSC

So good that I did not prepare for an hour and a half with the Queen of Spin today lest I be recalcitrant and opt for a ticket to ride tomorrow instead. But I know that I can “Trust Mommy” feeling secure that she will bring us along at just the right challenging pace to leave us spent but with just enough recovery for Thursday.  

And that she did, as I am here to report. The Evil Woman was spectacular today even though I hated just about every song she played. I was hoping that with 90 minutes she might relent and play one of my “hokey” songs but alas it was her rhythm of the road that just leaves me tone deaf at times. No matter her charisma and charm trump music selections every time. It was indeed a great ride.  

After my two episodes of precipitous glucose drops, I was totally prepared. I had my Gator Ade, protein bites and some glucose tablets, the latter being supplied to me by our Guardian Angel who does everything and anything for everybody without a word behind the scenes. Those of you who read KSC know whom I am talking about. 

Nancy Kaplan who I didn’t think read any of my blogs came up to me after class today and wished me well on my own bumpy terrain and then added something even more special. She said that although most of us don’t spend time together outside the club we do form a closeness in the hour or so that we do and that we do care for one another. Nancy Kaplan, she just doesn’t look great and shop she is one of the Sweet Hearts of KSC.  Thank you Nancy.  

Structure vs. Trance Induction

As I look backward from the end of a session atop my Schwinn I feel like there is really no discernible difference between a cadence filled class or one that is put together like Jambalaya. What I mean to say is that at the end of each version of the ride I am soaking wet, my left hand and foot have lost some circulation and I am of course gasping to regain my normal heart rate.  

Both entertain me and both move me closer to some elusive fitness level that escapes definition at least to this point anyway.  What is the difference then?  If you would ask each instructor they would say quite a lot.  But is there?  Order is never a bad thing unless I am lacking the discipline at that particular hour.  I don’t think it’s about being lazy, as I have already told you I am exhausted with both regimens.  The structured class that I love to participate in fascinates me and inspires me each and every time and challenges me and keeps me focused.  The unvarnished version is unusually extemporaneous and moves me viscerally, which results in an inspiration where writing is a stream of consciousness rather than reporting with finely chiseled narratives that only KSC* brings me to.  

So where am I?  Split I guess if you were to push me for my personal preference. In KSC there is an unparalleled dedication to craft and in Tripp’s class the passion he exudes lifts me like an anti-gravity machine.  It’s all good from here and the variety keeps me from the jelly donuts I so used to crave. 

*KSC- Kristen’s Spin Class kristensspinclass.blogspot.com

It won't take long:

 http://innerknockings.blogspot.com/2011/06/without-air.html

Face Card

What can I say to all of you that have brought me through every trial, tribulation and jubilation that I have experienced in these past 17 months other than the words thank you? Hardly seems an appropriate phrase given the semantics that are available to me in this the English Language but they will have to do until another one is invented. 

Today as I started to take my place in “left field”, #41 I had an overwhelming felt sense of love, serenity and a well being that has been absent from me in what seems like eons.  It was so palpable the only way I could hold back my tears was to take in the deepest breath of my life.  Kristen awakened me out of my trance-induced state when she asked: Are you ready John McQueen? (I thought I was Jack Briant). I of course nodded dutifully and then spied Ari and Lizzie who motioned me next to them and out of hiding I came. I really dig these two the love is like whipped cream on a mocha latte.  It gives me chills.  

Spinning became a seminal moment in my life when I decided to take up this dedication and what it has allowed me is to “Put on the Jack” but it’s never a disguise because it allows me to be authentic without the restraint of seeking an agenda other than enjoying the camaraderie that has evolved for me here in the CS.  In other words…Well you know how I feel at least some of you do. 

I love it when KG talks about her children and today when she mentioned her son it made me think about how fully associated she is all the time in the Lavender Palace. She was telling her son a story and when she said that he wanted her to calm down it must have been because he was seeing his mommy like she is with us: emotionally enrolled, charismatic and (my favorite) authentic. That kid Hunter is a smart boy I am so sure. 

Hey no one really comments here but does  anyone have some suggestions for what will be my 300th post in about a week or so? I love to write so coax me just a bit I love to be stroked. 

HDWS. I liked this one Kristen. 

Stepping Stones

 I have been stumbling of late and out of time with my spin regimen like today when I was going to blow off Tripp and Kristen and sit at home and lament my plight. There are times one must just push through the thoughts that inhabit the mind no matter how legitimate they may seem and get up and move. A.A. says bring the body and the mind will follow. That’s exactly what I had to do today and I got lucky because it was a half-day, last day of school and those that populate KSC in 8 seconds left an opening for me and I jumped on it. 

Most of my perspectives in class have been from the center of the CS in row 3 or in the first row but today I found myself in deep left field in #41 and completely out of sight from the Evil Woman. It did leave me with the thought I could just lollygag through what is always a breathless experience.  And except for the last five minutes of class I followed diligently along to Kristen’s call.  For the first time I felt like an outsider to this exclusive club but feelings aren’t facts and my emotional malaise will pass in time.  

Stumbling blocks make for difficult passage especially when traveling in the dark or when we have excuses to just stay in bed. However stumbling blocks can turn into stepping-stones, it’s all in the lens we choose and if we decide that problems are just situations and are really another growth opportunity presenting itself.   

Oh Jack!

It almost feels like forever since I have been to class even though it was only Sunday with Carolyn Mellace. Life sometimes takes priority over spin class but today I think I need it to rebalance myself from the vertigo of the last two days.  Let’s see if taking two classes is not a good idea.

So as I scribe between the two sessions my day has been preempted and what was a void has filled itself to the brim. I am ever so grateful to have this space to move back into realignment because here there are no personal issues that I have to deal with firsthand. It is my escape and the pressures of my own personality can be submerged into the bliss of sweat and the breathless state.  Those that have read my very now very open life will eventually retreat to my fanciful tales here as the fires of my relationships warm to room temperature.

Kristen took me out of myself today and as she reminded us about not having expectations from others, I felt a serene wave pass over my physiology.  That seemed to have me engaged perfectly in my pedal stroke between resistance and speed. There I felt like Goldilocks must have felt when she ate the little bears porridge and exclaimed it was  “just right”.  And so it’s on to Mr. Doherty and I suspect I will be a little more vociferous in his class, only because it is my wont to do so. Although in KSC I did let out two rather audible exhortations. For more catch me on Svengali later.

P.S. Images are not being loaded so I apologize I had a few but technology has a glitch for the moment.

Cee Lo and The Blue Sapphire to the Rescue

While I wasn’t in the mood for spin today I am glad that I did it anyway. I was feeling emotionally lethargic and I was bordering on depression. But the presence of familiar faces like Ari and Lizzie and the fact that Carolyn Mellace, The Blue Sapphire was teaching, I pressed on through the muddied waters that are my life right now. Mud settles eventually to the bottom and before long I will start to see things more clearly for what they are rather than what they feel like. 

Who said spinning was just riding a stationary bike? He must have been riding in an empty studio because cycling is my meditation that can actually take me out of any altered state I am in and put me in another one. Feeling like I was almost going through the motions this morning I was hoping for an escape to Witch Mountain and it came about 11:15. As fortuitousness would have it Carolyn plated: Forget You by Cee Lo Green. It was just what the doctor ordered because it launched me right out from under my malaise. I began to feel on even keel again and it reinforced what NLP* taught me that and me was that: Motion Creates Emotion. It would have been easier to turn to in my bed and keep the A/C on high and pretend to be in the somnolent state until this Sunday in particular was over.  

Feelings aren’t facts is what a 1935 12 step program espoused but today the fiction of emotion almost kept me in repose, I am most grateful I jumped my own fence.  

*NLP: Neuro Linguistic Programming. 

P.P.S.

11 More posts will make 300 of these short vignettes. I don't know where the time has gone but the discipline to write, hone my God given talent lies in the writing of KSC. All of my blogs thank you. If you have anything to share my readers, ( I know you are there) please do. 

Great Expectations

Saturday  in Kristen’s class and in a rare moment for me when I had lost focus, said “No Expectations”. I thought that odd out of context but as I came back into alignment I took it to mean that I could relax into my forte. Today like never before I felt my strength in the pedal stroke that gave me a sense of a powerful effort without strain. My face was relaxed, my timing was consistent and my breathing, oh my God my breathing was more in my control than it ever was.  No expectations? This was totally unexpected and that is why I have Great Expectations in the days and months ahead.  

Saturday KSC was as usual booked solid with a waiting list of 8 beyond the seated 55 and the hot ticket lives on with the Queen of Spin. And she was the ultimate “spin doctor” today weaving her extemporaneous soliloquy in with her encyclopedic knowledge of exercise physiology. It always seems to flow and when you speak Kristen, We do care what you say make no mistake we want your charisma which is why we’re here but we also want your acumen on how we are evolving right before your eyes.  (You know I don’t know the color of her eyes). 

I got to sit down before class with my favorite face couple Lizzie and Ari today and as we talked the mutual admiration they have for each other was shining like the most visible star in the heavens and with the purity of Ivory Soap before Marilyn Chambers took on a new vocation.  It just felt so good to sidle up to these two because they got me out of me. Please if you don’t know these young ones, you’re missing something their energy is contagious.  

Great Expectations. I have great expectations without having to expect too much.  

Surrender to the Pain

When I heard these words I said: Oh yeah! God does that make sense I thought. The alternative, avoiding the pain or trying to fight the pain was not courage it was in fact cowardice. Yes that’s right you heard me correctly. Resisting pain unless we are Zen masters is futile. In fact surrendering to the pain carries with it priceless experience and motivation. Because when we surrender to the pain, it loses its power over us. Let’s examine that. When we struggle against it pain becomes a more formidable foe.

Think about it. We create a resistant energy that becomes fuel for pain. We think it lessens or alleviates some of its force. Oh but quite the contrary, pain sucks up resistance like oxygen added to a fire. It becomes a bigger inferno! The protection mechanism, the defensive posture that we adopt to avoid the pain gives it a wonderfully robust added excruciation.

Little do we know that if we slip into the pain we start to lessen its vice like grip and we can start to use its energy for our own purposes? Imagine having power over the pain. Think of the things we could do as we start to function in extraordinary ways that the pain kept us from even imagining.

What do I mean though? Let’s take my spinning class as an example into our little expose. When I get in that seat I know that not only will I not move from that spot I am in physically atop that stationary bike nor will I be able to get out of the seat to take a breather. After all I am locked in via my shoe clips and there is an inner voice that I must obey when Kristen says reach down for “more road” I am compelled to turn that resistance knob to the right. Now I hope I have set the stage for you because in her class pain is inevitable.

I try not to look at the clock via the mirrors in the cycling studio for at least what I perceive to be 15 minutes because that gives me time to adjust to the discomfort that I start to feel in the sides of my feet and how quickly my breathing starts to get out of control. Or as Kristen says “touching anaerobic” Touching it? I am caught in its web. She says breathe in through your nose and I see this as an exercise to deepen my characteristic shallow breathing.

As my discomfort sets in, I become accustomed to the feeling. And my brain starts to function inside the pain. This is not to say that it doesn’t exist but because I have accepted the pain I no longer have to think about avoiding it. Its just there and I can start actually thinking I can take on more pain. Because what lies beyond pain? Whoa have I ever given thought to that? I can eliminate death for sure so what does lie beyond pain? I think it’s a new set of rules that I can write. Because once I have surrendered to the pain, I might not only be able to tolerate it but also become stronger living with the pain instead of something I dread. Yes that’s it I befriend the pain because it starts to tell me where I am and I can start to see even greater God given talents I have never explored.

Thanks KG for the inspiration.

The Silver Bullet

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. Who is this is modern physical marvel of athleticism? It’s Michelle Corso who gets my vote for the Empress of Fitness. This crown belongs to her in certitude because as I watched her in the main studio before today’s class in the  CS I saw an indefatigable athlete whose stamina might rival a Navy Seal.  In other words she can kick my ass. And she does when I have the courage to take her spin class.  

Always ready to learn something new and when I do it never fails to vault up my enthusiasm even higher and The Silver Bullet, Michelle Corso did exactly that today. In KSC I have been trying to get the RPM’s up over 100 but my internal switchboard was having a mental block. Today however, with proper resistance on the red wheel I flirted with 125, which is as close to a speeding bullet as this old man is going to get. And when I was able to pull that off, my RPM’s in #3 increased by about 15. I was in utter amazement.  What was that? Was it because I was training my legs to move faster through the zone than ever before that my pedal stroke got faster?  I think that the answer is yes.  This became quite a feat for me because too often I get trapped into keeping the resistance wheel way too high. And when I am asked to move to the higher revolutions, I am reticent that my legs can’t pull it off.  Today I was able to dispel this myth of the mind. 

I love to train with Michelle and one day when I am fit I will take her sneaker class but until then I will keep my spin shoes on and sit and stand and marvel as she takes me through The Corso Zone.  

Anger

So often it is the emotions of enthusiasm, passion, energy and my unending drive that have given me some of the best rides in KSC. Kristen some months ago had talked about using anger as fuel for the emotion of the ride and today I was able to take the feeling of sadness (bordering on despair) and turn it into anger about a subject that is not germane here.  I took my hostile mind and emptied my emotions into the incinerator instead of letting it eat me up inside later in the day. As I write this  the lividity has left me and  I have  a clearer perspective of what just happened to me in the last 24 hours. I will not over react. I will make my point to those persons in the proper way with clarity instead of an angry heart. 

So you see my readers this is not just about spinning your wheels on a stationary bike listening to music you may love or abhor. It is a place to channel and essentially meditate in the present moment what is taking place between your ears. Think our body doesn’t reflect what is going on inside your head? I know that for me when the heart aches it’s a lonely place. Rancor however is a fantastic counter weight for when your life gets out of balance emotionally.  

Saturday KSC makes me feel like a kid in a candy store with a full house and Kristen is up top handing out sweets with her iconic ride. Make no mistake sometimes those confectionaries are sweet tarts and they don’t melt like chocolate but satisfaction is complete by rides end. 

Self-Actualization Part II

All kinds of images were brought to my consciousness today in the Wednesday edition of KSC. No need to talk about time because we are blessed with just one time slot five days of the week here in Woodbury. Let me not digress, (as can be my habit as my mind takes sojourns without my authorization) but, flat out, Ms. Gagne has raised her game yet again. This time with the aid of the onboard monitors, she has taken her undergraduate psychology degree and her M.S. in Exercise Physiology and is giving us an education like no exercise protocol  or video could. With the intonation of Marisa Tomei from My Cousin Vinny: Would you like me to explain?

Just like the tennis player that can hit a faster volley with a thermoplastic racket than the old wooden ones, The Evil Woman is using the latest technology and making spin like a 4G phone only lacking back scratching capabilities. The pictures she paints in her soliloquies drawn from her personal experiences are deeply visceral because they are born from an authenticity you cannot feign.  

The first two sessions using the onboard computer had me mesmerized but this third foray with these electronics had me feeling less apprehensive about their significance. I have begun to realize that it is a tool not a mandate as to how my ride should go. This new equipment will and I am convinced of this will bring us to the efficient frontier of exercise. I am not sure exactly how just yet but I know that it will unfold inevitably over time.     

And finally my entry has to make a comment on Kristen’s ending choreography. As the ride neared its completion, she bent down virtually out of sight from most of the room and began her Zen like story that made the ride seem as if were outside on the road as she described our approach to the finish line. She told me that she didn’t want anyone to be looking at her so that they would focus on her narrative, but I watched her and what was remarkable about that was she had become in her own way transfixed and “fully associated” as only her talent can do. It made the end most satisfying and I told her this was her #1 ride and in her typical self-effacing way dismissed this notion. But my friends this was her #1 and I expect that she will be breaking the charts with another #1 in short order. 

She talked earlier in the session about self-actualization which as our psychology lessons from Maslow tells us is our human tendency for self-fulfillment.  Our desire if you will to be all that we are capable of becoming. These classes as I have said have elevated my more serious scribing in my other blogs to a level I had only wished for and I have this experience and KG to thank for that.  

P.S. 

I also write about addiction and if you want to follow some of my other writings please look here first:

Mylifeafteraa.blogspot.com

Woodbury Safari

It seems I have gotten away from my reports from one of my favorite Equinox professionals and that’s The Blue Sapphire, Carolyn Mellace. She was fresh from her first class on Sunday called Cardio Boot camp. A real killer diller I am told.  Ari sitting on the benches in the common area near the locker rooms was   looking quite beleaguered. He was all in from his experience and I for one was glad that I only had to fulfill one hour with the lithesome lambster. 

Although the day beckoned with a beautiful sunshine that has been so rare this spring, it was yet another chance to play with our new consoles Kristen had unveiled for us on Saturday. One of the drawbacks of our new toys at least initially was the fact that today I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes off the screen. With my glasses cascading sweat down my lenses, I was still able to see through my self-induced rain shower and get acclimated to my own pace.  I think these consoles will also help me take away some of the guesswork that I still am challenged with and that’s that red wheel. And secondly it really is keeping me from drifting too low after a breakaway as seems to be my wont as I described in my last entry. I even got to experiment and see what 120 RPM’s was like in the sitting position without bouncing too much off the seat.  I had a mental block about speeds over 100 RPM’s but maybe it’s not as daunting as I first had anticipated.   I do think that when the “watts” feature is added it will be the missing chess piece that will complete the full strategy Kristen and her staff can employ to make  our ride the most efficient ever.  

Carolyn was looking ferocious this morning and before she boarded for our safari she had the look of a hungry lioness with her full long blonde mane. I knew we were either going to get eaten or we would join her in the mission of destroying fat cells. 

Godzilla

Today the breakneck effort that is KSC took on yet another dimension. I thought that I had covered it all as I was relating to Ari and Lizzie after class, but leave it to the  Evil Woman to amp us up even higher  by putting those long awaited monitors on the bikes that we heard her talk about well almost a year ago. Well here they are and the permutations on how she will use them will be virtually limitless and it will be my vocation to explore it from our side of the CS.  

One thing that I noticed right away is my lazy tendency to drift way back on my RPM’s after a surge or a breakaway. Instead of moving from 65 to 55, I was falling back to under 50 and this realization had me feeling like I had to “catch up” for a good portion of the ride. But this is simply not the case. In my conscious mind I need a rest but it takes only a modicum of effort to keep my RPM’s at desired levels. The slow down does not give me any respite like I think it might but in fact only makes me more tired as the difference between speeds becomes a gap too large  to bridge.  I hope I didn’t confuse you but it’s as clear as mud in my mind.

I loved the way she gave looking at it a rest too. It’s new and too much of anything can make you try to do things that you are not capable of yet. I for instance felt that 120 RPM’s is pretty much out of the realm of possibility right now. It just seems I am not comfortable pedaling as fast as I can especially in position #3.  But I think that this will come in time as my fitness level increases. I especially like the idea of what the monitors will do for our pedal stroke so that we are not jumping too high or too low, but are staying within a narrow range that will serve to give us a more even ride throughout.  

Now for something that had me captivated. And it came from Kristen herself. I noticed that she was mouthing the lyrics to one of the songs and as I watched her countenance she gave us a window into her inner alignment.  Her facial expressions set to a rhythm of perfect contortions   were timed perfectly with her words and as she gave us her extemporaneous soliloquy all three senses clicked in my head because I heard, I saw and now I felt what she has been doing in a way I have never experienced heretofore.  

P.S.

I never even mentioned 57 ½ minutes did I? Oops.  But truth be told 60 minutes with her is all I need to complete my regimen for the day.  

P.P.S.

Why Godzilla? I don’t know I just saw the first version from 1956 with Raymond Burr and I thought to myself Godzilla would have been out of breath today too.  

Trust Mommy Part II

Who else can we trust but Mommy when it comes to spinning for 90 minutes?  When we put our mind and body in her hands she never lets us down and her adroitness is unparalleled in terms of form and substance. In other words there is never a worry that we won’t make it to the finish.  She knows exactly how to squeeze everything out of us, yet when we are done we are ready for the next day. And she makes it all so entertaining as only she can do in her very singular and iconic way.   The Evil Woman is never the same and as I have said many times I am not in love with her choreography but she is always working at her craft to get better and better. There is no room for resting on her already many laurels. She will never sit still for complacency and we also know there is nothing average about her.  

I love to writer about her because she has inspired me these past 16 months and I have recaptured the enthusiasm of my youth and as a result I don’t feel 60. And the way we work out I will never feel old.  I don’t know Kristen that well personally but she is one the most personable persons I know. I am so glad I made that decision to blog about her because it has given me incentive for my 14 other blogs.  Thank you KG.  

I was so surprised how quick yesterdays class went to. It was over in a blink. I used to think: How was I going to get through a whole hour? Now I look at the clock and am wishing it would slow down, but of course it never does. The time in the Lavender Palace is the part of my day that I cherish and health permitting will never give up. 

And the friends that I have met spinning at Equinox have blown me away. People like Mary, Dana, Debbie, Tripp  and David have made me realize that it is still possible to make friends and ones that genuinely care.  I love that.  

Have I fawned enough here? Maybe it’s because I had a spiritual awakening yesterday in Tripp’s class. I promise that the next entry will feature my curmudgeon like demeanor.