Surrender to the Pain

When I heard these words I said: Oh yeah! God does that make sense I thought. The alternative, avoiding the pain or trying to fight the pain was not courage it was in fact cowardice. Yes that’s right you heard me correctly. Resisting pain unless we are Zen masters is futile. In fact surrendering to the pain carries with it priceless experience and motivation. Because when we surrender to the pain, it loses its power over us. Let’s examine that. When we struggle against it pain becomes a more formidable foe.

Think about it. We create a resistant energy that becomes fuel for pain. We think it lessens or alleviates some of its force. Oh but quite the contrary, pain sucks up resistance like oxygen added to a fire. It becomes a bigger inferno! The protection mechanism, the defensive posture that we adopt to avoid the pain gives it a wonderfully robust added excruciation.

Little do we know that if we slip into the pain we start to lessen its vice like grip and we can start to use its energy for our own purposes? Imagine having power over the pain. Think of the things we could do as we start to function in extraordinary ways that the pain kept us from even imagining.

What do I mean though? Let’s take my spinning class as an example into our little expose. When I get in that seat I know that not only will I not move from that spot I am in physically atop that stationary bike nor will I be able to get out of the seat to take a breather. After all I am locked in via my shoe clips and there is an inner voice that I must obey when Kristen says reach down for “more road” I am compelled to turn that resistance knob to the right. Now I hope I have set the stage for you because in her class pain is inevitable.

I try not to look at the clock via the mirrors in the cycling studio for at least what I perceive to be 15 minutes because that gives me time to adjust to the discomfort that I start to feel in the sides of my feet and how quickly my breathing starts to get out of control. Or as Kristen says “touching anaerobic” Touching it? I am caught in its web. She says breathe in through your nose and I see this as an exercise to deepen my characteristic shallow breathing.

As my discomfort sets in, I become accustomed to the feeling. And my brain starts to function inside the pain. This is not to say that it doesn’t exist but because I have accepted the pain I no longer have to think about avoiding it. Its just there and I can start actually thinking I can take on more pain. Because what lies beyond pain? Whoa have I ever given thought to that? I can eliminate death for sure so what does lie beyond pain? I think it’s a new set of rules that I can write. Because once I have surrendered to the pain, I might not only be able to tolerate it but also become stronger living with the pain instead of something I dread. Yes that’s it I befriend the pain because it starts to tell me where I am and I can start to see even greater God given talents I have never explored.

Thanks KG for the inspiration.

The Silver Bullet

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. Who is this is modern physical marvel of athleticism? It’s Michelle Corso who gets my vote for the Empress of Fitness. This crown belongs to her in certitude because as I watched her in the main studio before today’s class in the  CS I saw an indefatigable athlete whose stamina might rival a Navy Seal.  In other words she can kick my ass. And she does when I have the courage to take her spin class.  

Always ready to learn something new and when I do it never fails to vault up my enthusiasm even higher and The Silver Bullet, Michelle Corso did exactly that today. In KSC I have been trying to get the RPM’s up over 100 but my internal switchboard was having a mental block. Today however, with proper resistance on the red wheel I flirted with 125, which is as close to a speeding bullet as this old man is going to get. And when I was able to pull that off, my RPM’s in #3 increased by about 15. I was in utter amazement.  What was that? Was it because I was training my legs to move faster through the zone than ever before that my pedal stroke got faster?  I think that the answer is yes.  This became quite a feat for me because too often I get trapped into keeping the resistance wheel way too high. And when I am asked to move to the higher revolutions, I am reticent that my legs can’t pull it off.  Today I was able to dispel this myth of the mind. 

I love to train with Michelle and one day when I am fit I will take her sneaker class but until then I will keep my spin shoes on and sit and stand and marvel as she takes me through The Corso Zone.  

Anger

So often it is the emotions of enthusiasm, passion, energy and my unending drive that have given me some of the best rides in KSC. Kristen some months ago had talked about using anger as fuel for the emotion of the ride and today I was able to take the feeling of sadness (bordering on despair) and turn it into anger about a subject that is not germane here.  I took my hostile mind and emptied my emotions into the incinerator instead of letting it eat me up inside later in the day. As I write this  the lividity has left me and  I have  a clearer perspective of what just happened to me in the last 24 hours. I will not over react. I will make my point to those persons in the proper way with clarity instead of an angry heart. 

So you see my readers this is not just about spinning your wheels on a stationary bike listening to music you may love or abhor. It is a place to channel and essentially meditate in the present moment what is taking place between your ears. Think our body doesn’t reflect what is going on inside your head? I know that for me when the heart aches it’s a lonely place. Rancor however is a fantastic counter weight for when your life gets out of balance emotionally.  

Saturday KSC makes me feel like a kid in a candy store with a full house and Kristen is up top handing out sweets with her iconic ride. Make no mistake sometimes those confectionaries are sweet tarts and they don’t melt like chocolate but satisfaction is complete by rides end. 

Self-Actualization Part II

All kinds of images were brought to my consciousness today in the Wednesday edition of KSC. No need to talk about time because we are blessed with just one time slot five days of the week here in Woodbury. Let me not digress, (as can be my habit as my mind takes sojourns without my authorization) but, flat out, Ms. Gagne has raised her game yet again. This time with the aid of the onboard monitors, she has taken her undergraduate psychology degree and her M.S. in Exercise Physiology and is giving us an education like no exercise protocol  or video could. With the intonation of Marisa Tomei from My Cousin Vinny: Would you like me to explain?

Just like the tennis player that can hit a faster volley with a thermoplastic racket than the old wooden ones, The Evil Woman is using the latest technology and making spin like a 4G phone only lacking back scratching capabilities. The pictures she paints in her soliloquies drawn from her personal experiences are deeply visceral because they are born from an authenticity you cannot feign.  

The first two sessions using the onboard computer had me mesmerized but this third foray with these electronics had me feeling less apprehensive about their significance. I have begun to realize that it is a tool not a mandate as to how my ride should go. This new equipment will and I am convinced of this will bring us to the efficient frontier of exercise. I am not sure exactly how just yet but I know that it will unfold inevitably over time.     

And finally my entry has to make a comment on Kristen’s ending choreography. As the ride neared its completion, she bent down virtually out of sight from most of the room and began her Zen like story that made the ride seem as if were outside on the road as she described our approach to the finish line. She told me that she didn’t want anyone to be looking at her so that they would focus on her narrative, but I watched her and what was remarkable about that was she had become in her own way transfixed and “fully associated” as only her talent can do. It made the end most satisfying and I told her this was her #1 ride and in her typical self-effacing way dismissed this notion. But my friends this was her #1 and I expect that she will be breaking the charts with another #1 in short order. 

She talked earlier in the session about self-actualization which as our psychology lessons from Maslow tells us is our human tendency for self-fulfillment.  Our desire if you will to be all that we are capable of becoming. These classes as I have said have elevated my more serious scribing in my other blogs to a level I had only wished for and I have this experience and KG to thank for that.  

P.S. 

I also write about addiction and if you want to follow some of my other writings please look here first:

Mylifeafteraa.blogspot.com

Woodbury Safari

It seems I have gotten away from my reports from one of my favorite Equinox professionals and that’s The Blue Sapphire, Carolyn Mellace. She was fresh from her first class on Sunday called Cardio Boot camp. A real killer diller I am told.  Ari sitting on the benches in the common area near the locker rooms was   looking quite beleaguered. He was all in from his experience and I for one was glad that I only had to fulfill one hour with the lithesome lambster. 

Although the day beckoned with a beautiful sunshine that has been so rare this spring, it was yet another chance to play with our new consoles Kristen had unveiled for us on Saturday. One of the drawbacks of our new toys at least initially was the fact that today I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes off the screen. With my glasses cascading sweat down my lenses, I was still able to see through my self-induced rain shower and get acclimated to my own pace.  I think these consoles will also help me take away some of the guesswork that I still am challenged with and that’s that red wheel. And secondly it really is keeping me from drifting too low after a breakaway as seems to be my wont as I described in my last entry. I even got to experiment and see what 120 RPM’s was like in the sitting position without bouncing too much off the seat.  I had a mental block about speeds over 100 RPM’s but maybe it’s not as daunting as I first had anticipated.   I do think that when the “watts” feature is added it will be the missing chess piece that will complete the full strategy Kristen and her staff can employ to make  our ride the most efficient ever.  

Carolyn was looking ferocious this morning and before she boarded for our safari she had the look of a hungry lioness with her full long blonde mane. I knew we were either going to get eaten or we would join her in the mission of destroying fat cells. 

Godzilla

Today the breakneck effort that is KSC took on yet another dimension. I thought that I had covered it all as I was relating to Ari and Lizzie after class, but leave it to the  Evil Woman to amp us up even higher  by putting those long awaited monitors on the bikes that we heard her talk about well almost a year ago. Well here they are and the permutations on how she will use them will be virtually limitless and it will be my vocation to explore it from our side of the CS.  

One thing that I noticed right away is my lazy tendency to drift way back on my RPM’s after a surge or a breakaway. Instead of moving from 65 to 55, I was falling back to under 50 and this realization had me feeling like I had to “catch up” for a good portion of the ride. But this is simply not the case. In my conscious mind I need a rest but it takes only a modicum of effort to keep my RPM’s at desired levels. The slow down does not give me any respite like I think it might but in fact only makes me more tired as the difference between speeds becomes a gap too large  to bridge.  I hope I didn’t confuse you but it’s as clear as mud in my mind.

I loved the way she gave looking at it a rest too. It’s new and too much of anything can make you try to do things that you are not capable of yet. I for instance felt that 120 RPM’s is pretty much out of the realm of possibility right now. It just seems I am not comfortable pedaling as fast as I can especially in position #3.  But I think that this will come in time as my fitness level increases. I especially like the idea of what the monitors will do for our pedal stroke so that we are not jumping too high or too low, but are staying within a narrow range that will serve to give us a more even ride throughout.  

Now for something that had me captivated. And it came from Kristen herself. I noticed that she was mouthing the lyrics to one of the songs and as I watched her countenance she gave us a window into her inner alignment.  Her facial expressions set to a rhythm of perfect contortions   were timed perfectly with her words and as she gave us her extemporaneous soliloquy all three senses clicked in my head because I heard, I saw and now I felt what she has been doing in a way I have never experienced heretofore.  

P.S.

I never even mentioned 57 ½ minutes did I? Oops.  But truth be told 60 minutes with her is all I need to complete my regimen for the day.  

P.P.S.

Why Godzilla? I don’t know I just saw the first version from 1956 with Raymond Burr and I thought to myself Godzilla would have been out of breath today too.  

Trust Mommy Part II

Who else can we trust but Mommy when it comes to spinning for 90 minutes?  When we put our mind and body in her hands she never lets us down and her adroitness is unparalleled in terms of form and substance. In other words there is never a worry that we won’t make it to the finish.  She knows exactly how to squeeze everything out of us, yet when we are done we are ready for the next day. And she makes it all so entertaining as only she can do in her very singular and iconic way.   The Evil Woman is never the same and as I have said many times I am not in love with her choreography but she is always working at her craft to get better and better. There is no room for resting on her already many laurels. She will never sit still for complacency and we also know there is nothing average about her.  

I love to writer about her because she has inspired me these past 16 months and I have recaptured the enthusiasm of my youth and as a result I don’t feel 60. And the way we work out I will never feel old.  I don’t know Kristen that well personally but she is one the most personable persons I know. I am so glad I made that decision to blog about her because it has given me incentive for my 14 other blogs.  Thank you KG.  

I was so surprised how quick yesterdays class went to. It was over in a blink. I used to think: How was I going to get through a whole hour? Now I look at the clock and am wishing it would slow down, but of course it never does. The time in the Lavender Palace is the part of my day that I cherish and health permitting will never give up. 

And the friends that I have met spinning at Equinox have blown me away. People like Mary, Dana, Debbie, Tripp  and David have made me realize that it is still possible to make friends and ones that genuinely care.  I love that.  

Have I fawned enough here? Maybe it’s because I had a spiritual awakening yesterday in Tripp’s class. I promise that the next entry will feature my curmudgeon like demeanor.