With All of You

Kristen played me so nonchalant this morning as if she had nothing in store for me but that was quickly extinguished when she announced my birthday.  My spin crush is 3 years old now and if it were not for the Evil Woman I would still be in isolation on the going nowhere elliptical in the main studio. I am still going nowhere on my stationary Schwinn but it feels like I’ve been around the world several times on a voyage that has given me several paradigm shifts in the way I think ,write, speak and feel. My physique has improved markedly but it’s the group therapy that has really lifted me from times that might have been sadness and despair and replaced it with hope and the ability to be present in the 4% solution each day.  

The gift that either God or my Paternal Grandfather gave me to have the ability to put words together in a sentence could never have been manifest had I not finally relented and listened as Kristen called me to what I call home, The Lavender Palace.  There is a magic here that makes Disney Land seem carnival like by comparison. Where else can you find 55 people that are in a harmonized Zen like trance wherein we become empathic to each other and experience genuine authentic feelings toward one another.  Exercise at this level opens our hearts and allows us to be truly vulnerable free from being judged or talked about unless it’s to our faces. I am Home here and I know He has a plan for me just across that Blue Lake. 

KJ played not 1 or 2 but 3 of Erasure’s greatest songs IMO (in my opinion) and each one carries with it a memory truly singular in nature. Whether it was my life as a dancer, becoming a sober man or a man deeply in love. These compositions reflect my life in a microcosm. I guess that is why I get so cranked and lose my breath each time I hear them or as it was today listening to them with all of you.  There are moments that I feel like an electric outlet because so many have plugged in to me and savored my energy leaving my battery drained dead. No energy vampires here because when I put out my amperage you juice me back and the circuit is complete.

I could never have it any other way without all of you and however long this living dream lasts you all will be on my hard drive somewhere in the Matrix of John McQueen.