Locked Out of Heaven

I suppose that if your name is The Evil Woman you might have your work cut out for you getting past St. Peter at the holy gates and be locked out of Heaven.  But what’s in a name anyway? Sure she’s so mean and she does have an evil streak but KJ is a beloved figure inside her church. Just ask her aficionados if she should be locked out of Heaven. That might be true for Bruno Mars but with a little lobbying St. Peter will surely change his mind. She might put us through hell but heaven will embrace her just as we have.  

9 days absent from spin was my own ‘hell’ due to tendonitis in my knee and it was with crossed fingers that I got back on the bike for the Thursday 8:30. I am happy to report that with a little restraint in pedal stroke and transitions from standing to the saddle my knee didn’t buckle and I will try again tomorrow for another foray. Spin class is in my blood now and it’s hard to think of exercise without it as the focal point of my fitness regimen.  In other words I can’t do without it.  I missed all of you and especially the Queen of Spin.  

The Empty Bike

Bless me EQ it has been 6 days since my last spin class. I have imagined putting on some girth this Thanksgiving but the tendonitis in both my knees has kept me sidelined from KSC. Oh I did get a rest not having to check in 26 hours before but it carries little solace as I am missing my daily dose of Zen Evil Woman style.  

I heard a new Enrique Iglesias song called: Now That I Have Found You that I am absolutely in love with and although I did hear it once on Kristen’s playlist I just had to get my own iTune version.  Dare I attempt Tripp in the morning or let 2 more days go by and make Friday a target for my return. I suppose some haven’t missed my spontaneous outbursts but there are those that do I imagine.  

Donut Girl

I guess I just thought that outside of an occasional libation the Evil Woman subsisted on salmon and three bowls of steam. So when I heard she ingests donuts on occasion along with a martini I was no less than shocked. Spin long enough and you’ll learn something new and find out that even the Queen of Spin walks in our shoes too!

On the way to class today Sunday I thought about the ritual I have of   setting the clock the night before at 6:25 so I can sign in for the Monday 8:30 with Kristen. I did and I got in and secured a bike but no sooner did I drift off for a short snooze and then had that reoccurring lucid dream: I had missed the sign in. Has that ever happened to you? Maybe I’m all-alone here but I’m thinking yeah-no. 

I had been using my MacBook to sign in with My EQ mobile and found it near perfect but in the last week or so I started using the alternate method on my iPhone. It didn’t seem to require the adroitness my computer version did. I don’t have to get out of bed and simply using my thumb to refresh at precisely 6:30 getting a bike carried much less consternation. One more thing I also have to practice breathing exercises as the time of sign in approaches. I find myself getting a touch of anxiety of: Will I get in or not. It just tells me how much I love spending 4% of my day in KSC.  

Sensory Deprivation

A late substitution had Dana Mancini filling in for Kristen today and her understudy did not miss a beat. Spin instructors have their own inimitable style but Mancini brings an eclectic portrayal in her musical selection and a new twist: Sensory Deprivation. 

Sensory deprivation or shutting out one or more of our senses like seeing for instance serves to heighten the others that remain. Dana suggested that we close our eyes and take a voyage of the mind. As I watched her close her portals I did as well and my breathing and pedal stroke took on another dimension. I felt as if my legs were in concert with my lungs and the beat of the music kept me in a rhythm like a syncopated drum. 

Dana’s star is rising fast with a bullet and when the Queen leaves her throne Ms. Mancini is one understudy that fits the marquee perfectly in her absence.  

Mostly Cloudy With a Chance of Mirror

The weather report from the Lavender Palace today was mostly cloudy with a chance of mirror. 

 A frosty day greeted me outside on the way to our EQ today and once inside the studio that same chill made me glad I kept my T-shirt on as I climbed aboard the KJ Express.  The majestic ride we had today was made kenspeckled with verbal etchings of the nuance of form and physiology as only the Evil Woman can convey.  She does have an MS after her name you know and an expert in exercise physiology she is.  

She thinks we don’t listen but for once she’s wrong we listen with acuity  to her whole repertoire. Its just all part of why we ride and why we ride with intent and such dramatic result. I have many times credited her with inspiration to what I write every day and this morning she sparked a few ideas that I will scribe as the day goes on.  

The Palace along about half way through got mostly cloudy with a chance of mirror. As I alluded to earlier the cool of the studio heated up quite a bit and behind her the mirrored background became occluded as the condensation of our collective efforts belied the sunny day that awaited us outside.  I love the effort and when I cry out please know it’s from my heart everyone.  KJ said I would be dangerous with a microphone maybe I will become a spin instructor when I become a septuagenarian.  

Skyfall: Kristen James 008 License to Kill

She does just that but before each kill she smiles. Most Double 0 agents look quite serious before they pull the trigger but not this version. She wants us to love her as well as she sets us up for the 55 minute Skyfall. 

Skyfall is the perfect metaphor for KSC. Because except for our connection to the pedal stroke we are literally in Skyfall when we begin our takeoff. In the luxury of a warm up we forget that it’s our turn to die but fortunately our MI6 female agent brings us to only a near death experience. And by the time we take all the resistance off we live yet another day because the Evil One wants to take us on yet another NDE* as soon as we are able to get back in the saddle. 

Make no mistake the woman may be beautiful but she is lethal and has a license to kill. 

James, Kristen James.  

*NDE- Near Death Experience. 

Ghost in the Machine

Looking particularly stunning today the Evil Woman had some operating challenges in the Lavender Palace. It started out electrical with the emergency light illuminated when it wasn’t supposed to be.  Louis along with Mario (a member of our stellar Maintain staff) entered the studio with a huge ladder that stretched almost to the ceiling. Mario scurried up the harrowing steps and extinguished the misbehaving light right quick so we could have the proper environs restored to the proceedings of KSC.  Maybe that started the Ghost in the Machine, as a strange presence seemed to haunt Kristen throughout the ride.  

Ever the perfectionist Kristen seemed put out at first by the intermittent outages in her mike and it gave me pause to smile because it really doesn’t matter we all were happy as clams in the 8:30 and whether she’s mike’d up or dependent on her eloquent naked speaking voice it was all good.  After a time she seemed to be accepting of the strange phenomena a ghost in the machine. After all the entire spirit world should know how just much fun we’re having back here on earth.

The Evil Woman was convinced that when she cocked her head to one side the microphone functioned normally but aligned center the spirit took over and I could swear the specter was smiling each time he and his chicanery “pulled the plug” out.  And we never get cheated in KSC. As the “interruption” would have taken two songs off the play list Kristen undaunted would have none of that and played on because we always get our moneys worth and then some each and every ride. 

Oh and this tuck your tailbone thing in. Yeah well as she stood up and demonstrated her pelvic tilt I said men can’t do that s*it! I told Greg in the Boys locker-room and after a belly laugh (he has no belly) he concurred with me. I have to consciously sit back to accomplish that thing women can do.  And I love when they shake that thing called the gluteus maximus cause it sends me right to where I see a Ghost in the Machine.